Conflict resolution for a two year old …

A few weeks ago the girls' bickering started to really get to me. At two (Emily) and five (Sarah ) years old, they love each other dearly, but they seem to fight more and more these days. The other day I thought I would do some conflict resolution training with them. I dug deep into my middle school memories (a place I infrequently go) and pulled out what I remember of conflict resolution. I brought the girls together and told them we were no longer going to call each other names (Sarah) or say that we hate each other (Emily).( I don't know where Emily learned to say "I hate you", but it hurts Sarah's feeling so much, she immediately cries. Hence, why Emily says it.) I said we are going to say, "You make me feel -------, when you do -------, next time can you please --------." Fill in the blanks for whatever the situation is. They practiced on what their issue of the nanosecond was, and it actually seemed to work. I was so pleased with my fabulous mothering skills.

These are two conversations I have overheard since then.

#1

Sarah: Grabs baby from Emily and throw it across the room.

Emily: "Sarah! You make me feel I hate you! You NO take my baby!"

Sarah: Immediate tears, "I hate you is NOT a feeling Emily!" "MOMMMMMMY"

 

#2

Sarah: Bonking Emily on the head with a toy.

Emily: "Sarah! You make…

Sarah: bonk

Emily: … me feel…

Sarah: bonk

Emily … very sad …

Sarah: bonk

Emily: … and owie when you bonking me on my head"

Sarah: bonk

 

 

 

 

Early Morning Catch Up

Last night (okay it was early evening), I went to bed at 5:45. I don't know what happened, but I literally could not be awake one more minute. Maybe it was the snow falling outside which was calling out "mama bear go back to bed, it's not spring yet," or maybe it was just complete exhaustion from running on empty for the past few weeks. Either way, I got a blissful 10 hours of sleep before waking up at 4 this morning. I love being up before the rest of my family. I have a chance to drink my coffee alone, send e-mails that are longer than two sentences and catch up on reading some of my favorite blogs.

I am always amazed by blogs. There is something so powerful about average people being able to share their honest and heartfelt experiences, thoughts and ponderings. Here are two that touched my heart this morning. The first is John's post "Little Red Safe" at Dirty Shame. I love reading a dad's perspective. Most days when I visit John's blog, I leave with tears in my eyes. He is a really beautiful and gifted writer. The second is Manya's post "Expecting Change" at Expectations. I feel my life is full of change these days; some wanted, some unwanted, some I am totally unsure about. I love the line Manya writes here, "I will leave the regrets at the fork, sure I will never want to come back." Such a wonderful brave goal.

I hope that you find yourself with a cup of coffee and 30 minutes of quiet today to catch up on blogs, or e-mail, or Survivor. If you do, let me know what blogs you are reading these days. I love to find great new blogs to read.

First summer night

Last evening, Pete went out and played golf and the girls and I dug in the garden and then went for a bike ride. It was our first "summer night" of the season. Colorado is such a weird weather state. We don't really have spring. Spring is just a group of weeks where some days it is winter and some days it is summer, until the summer days outnumber the winter days and it is finally summer.

Yesterday felt just like summer. During the summer Pete plays golf one or two nights a week. On those nights, the girls and I always work on the garden, eat a fast dinner outside and play until everyone is exhausted. They are great nights, that I look forward to all winter.

Yesterday it was about 80 degrees out. The girls and I worked on the garden (translation - they dug for worms and rolly pollies and I cut back the rose bushes). Our neighbors Ericka, Sophia and Nicholas came over and played for a while. Then we went for a bike ride.
Sarah is still using training wheels but she loves to ride her bike. Emily enjoys riding in her little cart behind my bike. The farthest we had ventured before last night, was to my parents house which is all of about half a mile away.

Last night, Sarah decided she wanted to go for a "big bike" ride. We rode and rode around the neighborhood and found ourselves at the entrance to the state park. Sarah was so excited to find herself there, she insisted we go into the park. We rode for about 1-2 miles on the trails in the park before heading back home. She rode all the way and was such a trooper. I was SO proud of her!

Riding around the park trails was such a surreal moment for me. When we bought our house last summer, I imagined one day riding down to the park with the girls. It was on my list of 'wouldn't that be nice if one day we did ---." Here we were, actually doing it. It was wonderful. Hopefully it was the first of many great rides this summer.
But tomorrow it is going to snow - so our next ride won't be for a few more days.

The good, the bad and the ugly ...

Hello friends,

Many of you followed my weekly family devotions for Lent. I loved hearing about the experiences your families were having together. If I had to narrow down my biggest vocational passion, it would be helping families connect with one another in their faith. Having so many of you doing my devotions this Spring has just been an amazing experience for me.

The devotions which were posted on the blog, or printed in Let's Celebrate Our Savior, are part of a book project I have been putting together for a little over a year. This May, I am attending a writer's conference to speak to agents and editors about the book.

This is where you come in! The clock is now ticking for me to get my materials put together and ready for the conference. I need your comments, feedback and ideas. If your family did any of the devotions or activities, I would love to hear from you. Please let me know how it went, what worked, and what did not. I am not looking to have my back patted, I am looking for your honest (even if they are critical) thoughts.

Please e-mail me at wendy_schulz@msn.com with your comments. I very much appreciate it!

Wendy