My friend Anna said a quote the other day that has really stuck with me. I believe she said it was by Eleanor Roosevelt. The quote went something like, "Many friendships are lost by people's unwillingness to cross the street." Okay this is probably a really well known quote that I have now butchered, but you get the meaning. It's such a true statement. So often in our busy, self righteous, modern day lives, we let great friendships slip away because we are just unwilling to cross the street. The street can represent so many things. Hurt feelings, misunderstandings, a move, a life status change. Our best friend moves across the country, and we are too busy to pick up the phone and call them – the friendship fades away. A friend slights us and we don't take the emotional energy to explain the pain they have caused, instead we let the friendship die. Life gets moving so fast that we place our friendships on the backburner, only to find them gone when we finally find the time for them.
Spending time with my college roommates this weekend, I kept thinking that you just can't make old friends. You can meet someone new to go out to coffee with, but you can't go out and replace your old friends. I won't lie; my little gang of college friends has experienced our share of issues. There were years when I was completely nuts, and other years when some of them were. We have had to come to terms with our differences in priorities, goals and religions. We have hurt one another, but we have loved one another more. They are the women who held my hand during the darkest time in my life and the same women who danced to Gloria Gainer at my wedding. Those are the type of friends you can't decide to go out and make. They are the friends you have to decide to keep.
Friendships like that are like a marriage. It takes time, energy and an emotional investment. That is what I love about Anna's quote. Crossing the street is such a great illustration, it's an active decision, and it's intentional. Crossing the street doesn't just happen. You chose it and you do it. The beautiful thing about friendships is that there is someone on the other side of the street, willing to make the same choice.
Do you have those friends? The ones you need to keep. I hope you'll take the time to plan a girl's weekend, or just night out. At the very least, give them a call just to let them know that you'd cross the street for them.
3 comments:
very true.
I love that quote and think about it all the time too! It is actually Virginia Woolf, here is the original:
"I have lost friends, some by death...others through sheer inability to cross the street."
I often ask myself if I have been crossing the street lately, and I am afraid that the answer is too often no. Good for you for making your friendships a priority, especially your oldest and dearest ones, because those are always the easiest ones to neglect. I am going to go call my best girlfriend from high school right now!
Thanks for your suggestion about just giving a call. I spoke to a friend that I hadn't spoken to since January and I called another who was just glad of the chat at that particular time.
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