A few weeks ago the girls' bickering started to really get to me. At two (Emily) and five (Sarah ) years old, they love each other dearly, but they seem to fight more and more these days. The other day I thought I would do some conflict resolution training with them. I dug deep into my middle school memories (a place I infrequently go) and pulled out what I remember of conflict resolution. I brought the girls together and told them we were no longer going to call each other names (Sarah) or say that we hate each other (Emily).( I don't know where Emily learned to say "I hate you", but it hurts Sarah's feeling so much, she immediately cries. Hence, why Emily says it.) I said we are going to say, "You make me feel -------, when you do -------, next time can you please --------." Fill in the blanks for whatever the situation is. They practiced on what their issue of the nanosecond was, and it actually seemed to work. I was so pleased with my fabulous mothering skills. These are two conversations I have overheard since then. #1 Sarah: Grabs baby from Emily and throw it across the room. Emily: "Sarah! You make me feel I hate you! You NO take my baby!" Sarah: Immediate tears, "I hate you is NOT a feeling Emily!" "MOMMMMMMY" #2 Sarah: Bonking Emily on the head with a toy. Emily: "Sarah! You make… Sarah: bonk Emily: … me feel… Sarah: bonk Emily … very sad … Sarah: bonk Emily: … and owie when you bonking me on my head" Sarah: bonk
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Conflict resolution for a two year old …
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8 comments:
not that i am happy to hear emily is saying i hate you BUT Luke seems to be saying "I no like...."and right to their face. i hope conflict resolution continues to work in your home. my method to the bickering is to remind landon that none day luke will be as big as him so he better be careful!
I am so glad to hear my kids aren't the only one. The good news for me is that when they aren't hating each other, they truly love and treasure one another.
Ha! Ha! I've yet to stop laughing at situation #2! Forgive me, but I can relate, although Lucas doesn't have those words yet to express his dislike of any given situation, boy does he shriek well!!! At Sophie's Montessori school, they have what they call a, "peace table" and that's where conflict is discussed and resolved. We're going to be trying this here in this household very soon. It would be nice to have a dedicated 'table' for this, but anything would work, as long as those at conflict are at the same level and facing one another. I'm just in love with the name of it and what it stands for.
As I read this I thought, well at least the bickering is not only in my household. I have just sent everyone to their rooms for quiet time because I can no longer stand to hear the fighting. It gives me peace to know I am not alone.
Ha ha! Thanks for the Monday morning laugh.
this is too funny :)
i agree with jinny. i need those moment when they hug each other and make each other laugh to realize that sometimes the fighting is just siblings being siblings. but at this time in there lives when words can escape them unfortunately they communicate with terrible head butts, and WWF take downs! gracie doesn't seem to have a model for mean words yet, and of course jackson doesn't say much so my frustration comes from the constant pestering and the retaliation. ahhhhh, at least i'm not alone.....
sooooooo funny!!
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