Things people shouldn’t say …

Four years ago, my friend Fara was at an ice cream shop when a woman came up to her and asked her when she was due. She wasn't pregnant. Her husband found this humorous of course, but Fara was totally traumatized. Needless to say, when it was time to order her ice cream, she had lost her appetite. Since then Fara has coined the phrase, "If you don't know, don't say it!" Don't rub women's pudgy bellies, don't ask about due dates, don't ask people if they are really sick or very tired. Just don't say it!

A few weeks ago, we had an insurance adjuster at our house looking into a roof leak. I introduced him to Sarah and Emily, who quickly became his little shadows as he walked around our house. My husband Pete came out of his office and the adjuster said, "Oh this must be your son?" Pete and I looked at him and cracked up, assuming it was just a slip of the tongue. Pete made some joke calling me Mama. The adjuster just stood there confused. To my horror, I realized that he actually thought Pete was my son! Pete found this hysterical – for weeks actually. I suggested we switch insurance agents.

This afternoon, the girls and I were out shopping and a woman in line in front of us turned around and asked if the girls were my grandchildren! What! I'm not even sure it's mathematically possible! When I got over my shock, I replied, "No, I am their mother." The women replied, "Oh, I didn't know." Please lady, dig your hole a little deeper, and make me feel even better.

So this is my public plea to follow Fara's sage advice "If you don't know, don't say it!" And since I am feeling like I apparently need a makeover, or something, I want to hear your stories of moronic comments – because you know, misery loves company.